Wednesday, November 3, 2010 ♥
♥ 10:20 PM
Hey! Since when did I last post?
I guess its been a long long time.
I really don't know what to say but anyways,
many things happened during these long period of time that I didn't post.
Sometimes, I really don't know what to do.
I want to hold on to you,
but I'm afraid to be hurt.
I want to give up on you,
but I can't.
What can I do?!
My mind is whirling all around,
not knowing what decision to make, and what may be the consequences.
but, you make me feel so insecure,
you're not matured to be someone I can trust whole-heartedly.
This is why, it makes my decision even harder.
I guess I should really give up after all I've seen from you.
There's no point of me holding on to you, while you're
taking everything like something that's not even something worth in your eyes.
Maybe, everything was just my dream,
my illusion, what I wanted it to be...
but it'll NEVER happen.
Maybe it's really my fault.
but, I didn't mean it.
I don't want to be a person who "betrays" all of you,
but you left me with no choice.
I did alot of reflection,
I got opinions from different people,
their point of view, and realised that, I'm not in the wrong at all.
Maybe leaving abruptly was my fault, but how do you expect me to say?
that I'm going to leave? Do you think you'll accept?
staying with you was very pleasant, but it wasn't what I wanted.
should I say that you'all are too matured or what?
I really don't know how to put it in words.
I should really do some reflection this holiday.
My results are poor, everything's not going well for me.
But, I also want to have some time to relax, and de-stress.
Somehow, I always feel that a stone's pressing my heart,
making me feel as though there's a great burden in me.
Maybe there is.